They say as you get older, time goes quickly, we jeez Louise, didn’t 2011 go past in a freaking flash.

Here are some great memories from 2011

Steamboat Bordello Royal Wedding Party
Organised by the same great team behind Boom Boom, La Reve and Bete Noir I always love performing at their events and this was perhaps my ultimate Royal Wedding show. Plus as you get on the boat at 4, by the time the Steamer docks at 10:30 you feel like you’ve had a cracking night out you can be in bed by midnight. (I love getting up early, I’m a lame showgirl)

London Burlesque Festival
My Kate Middleton parody show continued at this year’s London Burlesque Festival. This was my 4th year as Secret’s in Lace’s UK spokesmodel and its always fun to host the fashion show (If a little daunting) It’s odd to think I’d rather take all my clothes off on stage than speak into a mic. But that I did, well dressed in lingerie, so not precisely out of my comfort zone. Lot’s of leopard print designs this year so all the showgirl models were thrilled with their looks. You can see a great video of all of this years Secrets in Lace models here

Phix Shoot

The film Director Phil Sansom and I have been friends for years and I’ve been lucky enough to be cast in some of his videos. The 60s styled The Enemy video being one of my favourites. We collaborated on two great projects this year. One was a photoshoot in Norfolk in June. We found a great forest that kind of reminded us of the USA and we managed to just grab the last few minutes of the ‘golden hour’ light. It was nice to do something a bit more ‘fashiony’ and not cheesecake. See more of Phil’s great work at www.phixfilm.com

The second was a promo video for the amazing clubnight My Secret Disco. Which involved Cherry Shakewell, Rupert who runs MSD and I running round Abney Cemetery in Stoke Newington. I got pretty attached to my fangs!

Nightmare Before Xmas from My Secret Disco on Vimeo.

Nightmare Before Xmas from My Secret Disco on Vimeo.

Be Burlesque

In May I went to Paris to shoot for the Be Burlesque book. It was lovely to be asked to be part of such a project which features some of my favourite fellow dancers such as Lada Redstar, Millicent Binks and Lala Morte.

Then 2011 finally saw the release of The Domestic Burlesque by Elsa Quarsell. I actually posed for Elsa way back in 2008 and she went on to photograph dancers all across the world and my lovely friend Laurie Hagen is on the cover.

Studio 64

It was a good year for my Cabaret production Studio 64 as we returned for a Prince themed mammoth 6 week run at the Brickhouse and a run at the Phoenix Club in Vienna. It was great to work with Petra Storrs and Rachel Friere on the costumes too. They really took my ideas and ran with it into something I didn’t expect. My obsession with pyrotechnics continued too with the invention of what we affectionately nicknamed the ‘Crotch Rocket’

We then took it on the road for our annual Cabaret at Winterwell Festival and we brought Sara Louise Young, and Annette Betty along for the ride.

Festival escapades also continued at Beach Break Live with Bearded Kitten and at Camp Bestival where I performed in a child free 1am slot at Silent Disco for Rob da Bank. An odd experience performing with headphones…

Living it large backstage with.....salad

Pimp my Gold Buggy

Sarah Holgate Artist Liasion extraordinaire

Edinburgh Fringe

Next up was my first proper run at the Edinburgh Fringe. I did one night up there in 2007 when I guested in my friend Reggie Watts’s show. I was thrilled when dancer Gypsy Wood and comedian Asher Treleaven asked me to join their brilliant show Comic Strip, a potent mix of comedians and striptease.

Gypsy Wood

Gypsy, Plants and Trees

I also joined Frank Sanazi’s Comedy Blitzkrieg as his loving daughter ‘Nancy Sanazi’ with a comedy rendition of ‘These Jack Boots are made for Walking’. I’m afraid I took to singing with whip and screaming in unsuspecting patrons faces rather well.

Frank and I, a lovely father daughter pair

Dans Paleis - home of Comic Strip

I also popped into Miss Behave’s The Mess for a night, what fun that was.

Here’s me full of life (and cava) on my final night in Edinburgh for Comic Strip

Cheating With You

My favourite promo shoot of the year was The Correspondents ‘Cheating WIth You’. Ian and Tim of The Correspondents are so much fun to watch on stage, they have a travel-a-tor people. I met them when I was performing at the infamous Red Death lates at the BAC and we have been firm friends ever since. So I was chuffed to bits when they asked me to be in their new promo which definitely to floats my DnB roots!

New Orleans Burlesque Festival

I made my US festival debut in New Orleans this year. New Orleans is incredible drifting through the French Quarter to with Jazz weaving through the warm air was exactly how I dreamt.

I was also at the festival to represent Secrets in Lace, so it was great time to catch up with founder Dan Whitsett and we even got up at 4am to do Good Morning New Orleans. Please excuse the bad inneundo below- I had only had 4 hours sleep!

It was such a treat to perform alongside legends such as Kitten de Ville

To meet legends such as Bambi Jones

and Rita Alexander and to chat to them about the old days was incredible. Here’s an amazing clip of Rita in full B-movie glory from the 60s.

I also got to hang out with my old buddies Bettina May and Vincent Drambuie. They were sweet enough to book me when I first started out so it was wonderful to see them again.

2011 will also see me go on my first tour of Australia.
I will be joining Comic Strip at the Adelaide Fringe Festival with the wonderful Gypsy Wood and Asher Treleaven. Take a look here for booking details and interview.

TOUR DATES
10th-13th Feb Melbourne
13th-Feb- 19th March Comic Strip at Adelaide Fringe
19th-26th March Sydney
27th- March- 22nd April Melbourne Comedy Festival
22nd April-1st May TBC
1st May Return to UK

I’ll be taking my brand new musical cowbell comedy number ‘Eidelweiss’ too which should be making an appearance at The Box before I depart for Oz. This show has been such a long time in the making, I even got Jonathan Biekerdike who made my robotic bra to make me an extra special squirting milk rigg. I’ll try and get some footage and pics up soon.

Here’s to a wonderful 2012 cabaret friends.

Agent L x

Cassie Beadle, my impossibly glamorous friend has opened an impossibly glamorous concept store called Guts for Graters with her friend Rachel Chudley in the Cob Gallery Camden. www.gutsforgarters.com

by Georgia Kuhn

The theme of the shop changes every 4 months with the opening one being ‘The Royal We’. With bespoke wallpaper, a giant neon Elizabeth 1st signature it truly look amazing.

The launch party was the perfect opportunity for me to debut my Kate Middleton show. There are not many burlesque shows you go shopping for at the Tower of London gift shop, but I thoroughly enjoyed being a bride for all of 6 minutes.  I’m thinking of wearing the dress all day on the 29th April and doing wildly inappropriate things all over London as an inebriated Kate Middleton. Long live Princess Kate ( who confusingly also shares my real name).

Here is a wonderful video of the opening night- you can see my show from 2min.

Guts For Garters from Danny McGuinness on Vimeo.

Cassie

Millicent Binks and Byron

A brand new Cabaret and Circus show

22nd March-30th April 2011

The Brickhouse, London

Agent Lynch’s Studio 64 returns with a brand new show ‘Purple Rain’ for a six week run.
A tribute to all things Prince this cabaret show will bring together burlesque circus and music. Hosted by Europe’s premier Prince tribute artist Jimi Sweet (of band Purple Rain) resident acts include drag superstar The Fabulous Russella and jaw dropping Trapeze from Marcos. Plus Trash City Princess Ruby Blues.

Purple Rain will also showcase two brand new burlesque shows from Agent Lynch and costumes from conceptual fashion designers Rachel Freire and Petra Storrs.

Plus Special Guests:
Fancy Chance and Roxy Velvet
Expect motorcycles, smoke machines, flying doves, pyrotechnics, ticker tape showers, outrageous costumes and not forgetting an epic 9 minute Purple Rain finale.

Running 22nd March – 30th April

Saturday Matinee and full Afternoon Tea £30
Dinner and Show £35 Tue-Fri/£40 Sat,Show only £10

Tickets at www.thebrickhouse.co.uk

Jimi Love of Europe’s No 1 Prince Tribute Band Purple Rain

Jimi Love and Purple Rain Live

Fabulous Russella

Fancy Chance

Ruby Blues

Previously at Studio 64

In praise on Studio 64

‘Spectacular costumes and slyly comic performances’
Victoria Huntley, Hackney Gazette

Disco is not dead! We’re contemplating going as Bianca Jagger – now where did we leave our horse?
Time Out Recommends

I had  my first gig of 2010 last weekend. I was really looking forward to Glitter Fever in Paris too, run by the charming Miss Glitter Painkiller. I love the artwork she had done.

But disaster struck. I was pulling some costume from the top of my wardrobe on a chair and as I jumped down. CRACK I went over on my ankle. After a few seconds of adrenalin ‘am I hurt’ fuzz the pain kicked in. And Mr Cutlass was called to ice and finish my packing as I shouted instructiosn from the hall. ‘What does a MAC lipstick look like?’ ‘Like black bullets, bring them all’. Maybe I should feign injury everytime I need packing done?

After a hour moaning I cabbed it to Kings Cross for the Eurostar and was met the end by friend Broadcaster, DJ and fellows 60s chick Marajorie Helen Heche, who helped me hobble to her Parisian apartment. Sadly my plans of roaming Paris cafes on Sunday pre-show were dashed and I spent the day ice packs and croissant indoors instead. Boo. But it good company!

But on a cocktail of Sauvignon, nurofen and some onstage adrenalin I managed to get through the shows. Congratulations of Miss Glitterpainkiller for a sell out launch night!

This is not my 'in pain' face- it's my sexy face. Although they probably look much the same...

The Rocky Horror Review

Miss Glitterpainkiller

As I was backstage mostly I missed most of the shows, but I did catch some of the Rocky Horror review. It brought back memories of my parents taking me and my sisters to see it at Theatre Royal Newcastle, Jason Donavan was Frankenfurter. I loved it and I remember in the interval a transsexual came up to my Dad ‘Hello Nick!, it turned out he used to work for him as Barry. It was a scandal to my 12 year old mind, but in retrospect going up to your old boss in showgirl tuxedo leotard, fishnets and a top hat in 1996 took guts! I hope ‘Sandra’ is a very happy lady now.

Here’s a video that was broadcast on 20 minutes France  and a written interview avec moi. Don’t all the French girls in the show look so effortlessly chic!

http://www.20minutes.fr/article/649840/culture-la-difference-entre-strip-tease-effeuillage-burlesque-humour

and

http://www.20minutes.fr/article/649842/culture-agent-lynch-j-diplomee-droit-devenue-performeuse-burlesque

Just before Christmas I was ferried to BBC Bush House on a snowy December night to discuss Burlesque on BBC Worldservice Newshour with journalist Laurie Penny.

You can listen to the segment here: http://www.zshare.net/audio/8474636158566bd6/]Burlesque.mp3 – 4.68MB

The feature was prompted with the release of the film Burlesque and Christina Aguilera’s performance on X Factor which Laurie Penny commented on in her article for the Guardian http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/dec/13/burlesque-sex-empowerment-misogyny.

Neither of which I think represent the majority of Burlesque performances. I haven’t even seen Burlesque, but I have heard from a reputable source that it does contain some nice set pieces and some well researched Burlesque references. However anyone who has been to a high-end Burlesque show in London will attest that modern burlesque amounts to more than lip syncing to show tunes in some Ann Summers suspenders, and red lipstick.

Being asked to do this debate was actually a good opportunity to actually seriously sit down (well over cava in the pub) and think about what Burlesque means to me and is it like Laurie Penny claims in her article simply the act ‘of withholding sex’ and therefore disempowering to women? I don’t think Burlesque is either empowering or disempowering to women. It is a piece of theatre. I have had many women tell me they have felt their confidence boosted by coming to shows or going to Burlesque classes, this is great. However to say that me stripping on stage is empowering would be ridiculous.

Like any artform audience members have different take outs of a performance. Some people will be will be amused, some empowered some maybe even aroused. However to say that a Burlesque audience is full of men with groaning erections feverishly wanking is a fiction. Burlesque audiences are made up of the majority of women for a reason, that it is great entertainment. Yes there is a element of sexuality in some shows is stronger than others, quite frankly I enjoy being sexy in inventive, often comical ways during my performances. To say that until women have achieved full equality to men that women’s sexuality should be hidden in the entertainment arena and is doing a disservice to the wider ‘cause’ is a very narrow view. Should actresses in plays be judged for disrobing? as with burlesque nudity is just part of the story.

Laurie Penny and I actually agreed that the ‘bland rehearsal of sexual frustration’ of some burlesque shows is not ironic or subversive. I would argue this is just poor burlesque shows, far from being outraged with this sort of performance, I’m just bored. To tar all burlesque performances with the same tawdry brush is to dismiss some great performers. Are films like Burlesque the death knell for subversive burlesque? Probably not, subversive Burlesque has little to do with the corset and feathers routines and will continue regardless. But does Burlesque have to be subversive to be a valid piece of theatre? As long as it’s a polished, creative and exciting performance I’m still rapt with or without political statement.

So in conclusion no indeed there is nothing ironic about and erection at a burlesque show, so will then aroused gentlemen at the back please stand up, all errr, none of you.

I really hate castings for commercial jobs. Not only are they very time consuming, the getting ready, schlepping to Soho, the waiting, the mild humiliation when you are asked to ‘dance sexually, but innocent’, ‘be a 1950s housewife, perky but not too perky’, ‘say Mmm’. I sometimes crack under the pressure.

The one I went for last week was for a clothing chain commercial where I was told it I had to dance (I imagined in a loose ‘I’m having fun in my fabulous high street outfit kind of way’) but instead I got in there and was told to have a ‘private joyous moment putting my shoes on’.

Suddenly in the middle of a studio floor with a camera pointed at my face I can’t even think how I put my shoes on usually and ‘private moment’ with a shoe instantly fills my head with mildly pornographic images. What follows is the most awkward shoe putting on moment of my life. I’m struggling to get my heel in while a manic ‘Oh how I love my shoes’ smile cracks across my face. I’m not even that much of a shoe girl, why am I here? I thought I’d de dancing? My heel won’t fucking go in this bloody shoe.

‘Ok that’s great, one more time’ smiles the Director.

I repeat the above only with more smile/grimace and a fine layer of sweat accumulating on my top lip.

I leave a failure, passing other girls on the corridor, all inevitably more adept at putting shoes on for me.

However all this is  a major contrast to my casting for this promo for Sixnationstate’s ‘Why Don’t you Love me?  One Helena Turk from Archers Mark had seen my Je T’aime show at a party in Nottinghill and recommended me (thank you!). This casting basically consisted of me chatting with the Director Mike the producer Stacy, being told I had the job and they would arrange a stylist to take me shopping. I daresay the nicest casting ever.

The shoot was spread over two days. The first was a photographic shoot for a faux men’s magazine cover. Shot on real film – all my favourite pics are shot like this which was then magiced into a men’s mag cover by Church of London who make the brilliant Little White Lies magazine. http://www.thechurchoflondon.com/work/in-house-publishing/little-white-lies-29/

The final magazine cover Jamie Roberts/Archer's Mark for the photos - Rob Longworth/Church of London

Then a couple of weeks later in July we shot in my favourite Vintage Furniture shop Speedy’s. They had transformed it into my boudoir for the afternoon where I played records, danced aroud naked and drank fake gin. So pretty much a home away from home, if you discount the faux part of the gin.

Action!

If only Tricia Temple was on hand to do my make-up every day

We wrapped about 6pm  and then as I wasn’t due back on set until 10 I went back home for some dinner as I lived nearby.Hurrah.

The crew then shot the street shots of the band before the whole production moved to the golf driving range near Liverpool Street Station. Where we danced, and played golf till about 4am. The song ‘ Why don’t you love me?’ is soo catchy and I really enjoyed spinning round the astroturf to it. I got to wear a great dress that Lucy Freeth made for me topped off my my Great-Granny’s fur.

Here’s me being a gracious winner of the 3am driving competition. Aren’t you proud Dad?

All in all one of my favourite shoots ever. Huge thanks to everyone at Archer’s Mark especially Mike and Stacey for making everything happen and of course the band for make a brilliant song.

You can find out more about Six Nation State here http://www.myspace.com/sixnationstatetheband and all the lovely people at Archer’s Mark and the hi res video here http://www.archersmark.co.uk/music-promos/sixnationstate-why-dont-you-love-me/

And finally the finished video

4300 mirror pieces glued, 20m of tasseling and one white horse called Donna Studio 64 disco cabaret and Circus is on!

Here is a glimpse of our press night….all pictures by Sin Bozkurt www.sinbozkurt.com

I'm an Indian too!

If only I could enter every room like this...my Bianca Jagger tribute

Oooh I Feel Love!

The Beautiful Beaux Belles Love to Love you

Donald Choi 'The Disco needs YOU!'

Glory Pearl takes Enid out for a walk

she makes its look easy

Team 64!

and stretch...

We are at the Brickhouse Wednesday to Saturday all through August, with a rotating line up. Next week we have the incredible Kitty Bang Bang who is doing a bespoke Disco Inferno tribute for us and not forgetting Brian Bagley Scott all the way from Paris 18-28th August.

Here are a few behind the scenes too…..

planning the horse pulling route with Hugo, tactical stuff...

after careful planning we hit a door runner on the way out and I almost fall off, not exactly chic but pretty bloody hilarious.

still laughing

Our stage manager Allen. He quite frankly rules.

Allen and superstar Brikhouser Becky

Hugo massively stealing the limelight.

I was 15 when I first gazed at Tina. I had seen her before in pictures but never in the flesh.  But there she was in my favourite vintage shop her eyelids heavy with lashes, pinky orange lips parted staring out at me- she was beautiful. At that moment I fell in love with her.

Tina

“Tina” the name of this an iconic picture is painted by my namesake and inspiration the painter J.H. Lynch during the early 1960s. I saw my first ever Lynch painting in a my favourite vintage shop growing up called Attica in Newcastle. It is still to this day jam packed with vintage clothes and furniture with beautiful 60s ashtrays gleaming like sweets, and velvet jackets hung next to Edwardian shirts. I used to go there and browse wearing my first vintage purchase a 70s Burberry Mac ( which I used to get called ‘Flasher!’ for wearing-rainwear being obviously controversial in sportswear ridden 1999 Newcastle.

“Tina” captured my imagination and right then became the quintessential 1960s fantasy woman to me, more ‘Bond’ than a Bond girl. She is so perfect I wonder if she was a real person? Sadly the probably the only person who can truly tell me, the reclusive J.H. lynch, died in 1989 aged 78.

And so my love affair with the Lynch girls began, even though I discovered them in my teens I only bought my first print 5 years ago ‘Autumn Leaves’ followed quickly by ‘Tina’.

With my interest renewed I wanted to find out more about the artist and I found this excellent (and the only) website http://www.jhlynch.org/ by Mario Klingemann. Lynch’s paintings were mass produced throughout the 60s, they were even sold through Boots the Chemist. He died in 1989 destroying much of his work, as he never received the critical acclaim he deserved. Subsequently very little information is known about him. Acording to Klingemann’s website the originals are in the possession of his nephew. (lucky him!)

a rare early Lynch landscape

J.H. Lynch’s early pictures were of country scenes and then he started painting these goddesses! I wonder what first inspired him to do so? Was it a woman he knew? Did he paint from life?

I get the feeling that some of the paintings might been inspired by photographs and then exaggerated into a gorgeous ‘Lynchian’ vision of woman that is almost cartoonish. I think “Autumn Leaves” might have been inspired by this picture of Jean Shrimpton.  What do you think?

I think it’s sad that Lynch never felt appreciated in his lifetime. Admittedly these paintings are not perhaps ‘technically’ brilliant, the bodies are sometimes a little off (See Tina’s shoulder) and some might argue that these paintings are simply not ‘art’ but wall decoration. They are to me missing the point and the magic of Lynch. While Lynch’s paintings have become almost a visual shorthand for 60s kitsch they mean more than that to me. 1000s of prints were produced because the are beautiful and fantastical and who doesn’t need some of that?

The only picture of the mysterious Lynch I could find. The picture is thought to have been destroyed by the artist before his death

I chose the stage name ‘Agent Lynch’ because I want to be on stage one part Bond Girl and one part mysterious Lynch like nymph. Having a stage name, and I think this is true for most performers especially burlesque, allows you to create a character that gives you a licence to be who ever you want to be when you perform. This fiction of character allows me to create and perform something I would simply lack the confidence to do if just plain old ‘Kate’. I would feel naked on stage as Kate, as Lynch it feels almost natural. (what a floozy)

And while I will never know if Tina or Lisa really existed, I know Lynch had a love affair with them if only in his mind. I can see these beautiful creatures now running barefoot through the moss with big hair, eyelashes and pouting lusciously next to trees swathed in silk (well ok ploy-mix satin) and I like to think of them all cooing over J.H. Lynch in heaven finally united with his creations. As I grow older Tina will always be perfect to me- and as I’m looking at her now she looks pretty darn good for 72. How does she do it?

Here is my homage to the Lynch girls shot by the uber talented fashion photographer Wendy Bevan. www.wendybevan.com

Places of Lynchian interest: please do mail me if you have any more using contact link above.

www.mrlynch.co.uk Newcastle bar decorated with Lynch paintings and orginal 60s furniture. Groovy baby.

www.atticavintage.co.uk an Aladin’s cave of vintage(and the occasional Lynch)also  in my home town Newcastle

http://tinawesaluteyou.com/ My wonderful local coffee shop in Dalston London which is named after and features Lynch’s most popular painting.

Finally! My new Super 8 film is ready.

The film is based on my Je T’aime live show.  I was lucky enough to work with the French Director Mathieu Breliere on the project, which was filmed last May, who being a New Wave fan understood my oh so artistic paint dripping body printing vision. So combining Yves Klein, Blow Up, and good old dirty Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin we have…..

“Je T’aime” Film by Agent Lynch and Mathieu Breliere from Agent Lynch on Vimeo.

Many thanks go out to Mathieu (www.mathieubreliere.com) for bringing a froggy pitch perfect ‘Je ne sais quoi’ to the project, Dominik Rippl who was an excellent DOP, Fernado Lamas for being a perfect 60s ‘homme’, Leila Mauro for nailing a Bardot up do, to Phil Sansom for his edit suite skills, Tom Waterhouse for his pitch perfect graphics and Naomi at Vintage Secret (www.vintagesecret.com) for finding me the perfect dress, and to Duncan at the Camden Arts Center for kindly letting us use the space.

I hope you enjoy it and I would love to know what you think,

OOoh Je T’aime!
xxx Lynchy

Happy New Year!

After hibernating through Christmas, recovering after New Years Eve I am now feeling relatively full of beans!

Please check out the spread I did for Jaime Perlman’s Test Magazine ( she’s the Art Director for Vogue) shot by Wendy Bevan on the coolest Polaroid camera I have ever seen! Also check out www.testmag.co.uk for more slices of artistically directed fashion.

Also I have two shoots coming up this month- better keep jogging round Hackney downs.